Top Ten Tuesday – Bottom Ten Tuesday?

As I continue to review my year looking at the best of the best to reveal in numerous lists in the final weeks of the month. I thought, let’s take a look at the worst things I experienced this year across media and weirdly, I came up with 10 right on the dot.

10. Eminem’s Kamikaze

Rarely do I come across an album from an artist that I like that just flat out disappoints but Eminem’s Kamikaze is one. Even with ones I’m less than keen on overall, I generally find a few things to latch on to. Kamikaze had one track that I thought was halfway decent, the rest were forgettable or outright trash.

9. Sea of Thieves – Xbox One, PC

I am sure there are people that like what Sea of Thieves offered. I’m not sure what they liked about it but, I’m sure they exist. I am obviously not one of those people. For a game with so much potential, Sea of Thieves squandered it with its directionless gameplay. Yes, there is something fun about drinking a bunch of virtual beer with your friends and puking all over your boat. There is also something fun about having your “captain” take you in to a storm and everyone works on fixing and bailing out the ship before it sinks. But the problem is that the fun is only there the first few times then you want something more substantial and Sea of Thieves didn’t have anything more really. I know they’ve been supporting it and putting a bunch more content in to the game but it still feels a bit aimless and there are plenty of better virtual playgrounds to enjoy.

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8. Onrush – Xbox One, PS4, PC

I like driving games. And I like objective based multiplayer games. Onrush is both but I don’t like Onrush. The multiplayer is a ghost land and the single player is AI teammates and their ability and performance seems random which isn’t fun when you are relying on them to help you win. Add in that the game doesn’t handle particularly well for a driving game and well… you get the point.

7. State of Decay 2 – Xbox One, PC

I loved the original State of Decay. It was a cool GTA style open world zombie game with an awesome camp management aspect to it. It had a good enough story and a decent progression to it that I was easily hooked by it. So State of Decay 2 was high on my radar and wow did it bomb for me. None of the hooks of the original got me with SoD2 and they leaned too far in on the camp building for my tastes.

6. Shenmue I & II Remaster – Xbox One, PS4, PC

I love my Dreamcast but one huge game that I missed out on for that system was Shenmue. I wish I had let it pass by again because Shenmue sucks. Its slow, to the point that it actively wastes your time and while I’m sure that someone thought that was a good idea and a way to be more immersive, all it really did was annoy me as I had to wait around for certain times of day to complete objectives.

5. Pokemon Quest – NSW

Pokemon Quest calling itself a game is kind of insulting. More insulting is the amount of time I actually put in to it even though I wasn’t enjoying myself.

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4. Day of the Dead: Bloodline

I think Day of the Dead is the worst of Romero’s original Dead films but there is something that I can respect about the original. Bloodline is the second remake I’ve seen of Day of the Dead and while this is more true to the original than the other remake I saw at least the other one had Ving Rhames, this one just has bad acting and bad special effects.

3. Mute

Do you remember Mute? It was a pretty big deal when it launched earlier this year because it was from director Duncan Jones. Do you remember Duncan Jones? He was that promising director that made awesome sci-fi like Moon and Source Code and then spent five years making an OK but poorly received Warcraft film. This mess of bad cyberpunk (coming off the heels of Blade Runner 2049 didn’t help) was bad and we should never speak of it again.

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2. Death Wish

Eli Roth is a dick. I know this but for some reason I keep giving the guy chances because once upon a time I saw Cabin Fever and heard the guy talk about horror and felt, he understood what I wanted from horror. He’s disappointed me ever since. Death Wish is no exception but it maybe stings more because it stars Bruce Willis in a role that he should have thrived in. Instead Willis sleepwalks through the film giving such a lackluster performance that its hard to even buy in to him as an angel of death exacting street justice. Add in the fact that it isn’t fun and the action sucks to boot and there isn’t anything to like here. If you want a much better version of this type of film, go watch Peppermint instead, at least that one is fun.

1. Deep Blue Sea 2

I love Deep Blue Sea. It is A grade schlock. It didn’t need a sequel and certainly not after 20 years either. Except Deep Blue Sea is only a sequel in name. There is no tie to the original film other than dumb scientists are experimenting on sharks again. Worse though is that it didn’t even get the spirit of what made Deep Blue Sea fun. These actors are F grade quality, the writing is somehow worse, and then there is the special effects. They are awful but there is something charming about the complete lack of care given to the CG work done here. It’s like the visual artists knew it was crap and turned hard in to that offering some of the worst CG I’ve ever seen. I can’t recommend you watching this film but if you can somehow see the baby shark scene where they eat a guy in half it is so worth it for its sheer awfulness.

Those are my bottom ten, what are some of yours from this year?

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8 thoughts on “Top Ten Tuesday – Bottom Ten Tuesday?

    1. Probably not. His writing is fine for what it is and when he keeps to simple concepts, it does OK. Stuff like Cabin Fever and even the Hostel movies work fine. Thanksgiving, quite well done but obviously not something that he had any desire to turn in to a full thing. Even some of his writing where he hasn’t directed, like Aftershock (which is a bad movie but mostly due to the directing and acting) and The Man with the Iron Fists, work well narratively. But then he dumps something like Death Wish out, which was terrible or weirdly enough The House with a Clock in its Walls, which evidently was pretty good (I haven’t seen it and keep forgetting he directed it).

      He has a decent eye for horror and has produced some good stuff, like The Sacrament and The Last Exorcism but he is just woefully inconsistent across the board.

  1. I honestly hate Shenmue, No. I DO NOT want to wait for a bloody bus. I was always puzzled by people who said it was this massive open world where you could do what you want.

    Until your mum forces you home at 10pm for bed time…

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